2014 has been the benchmark time for me. I have thought long and hard about my one word - Surrender. I have also thought about my goals. I chose seven major goals which I will work toward with mini minor goals. I've gone over the first two, time with God and weight/fitness, but my most vulnerable is writing.
For as long as I can remember, I have written. As a small child I drew pictures to tell stories and said them out loud as I drew. Once I grasped words I wrote the story with the pictures. When I was not in the paying attention mood in class (sorry but true), I would write stories to keep entertain myself. When I would spend time at my grandparents home, I would grab my grandma's bike and ride around the neighborhood and imagine great adventures that I would create in my mind. I was a bit of a Walter Mitty (one of my favorite movies growing up from the Family Film Festival starring Danny Kaye not to mention one of my favorite short stories in college). If the outside world was doing nothing for me, and it often did nothing for me, I would create my own.
But at some point, my faith in myself, my belief in what I could do dwindled. As much as I wanted to write and continue to keep these stories alive. I felt I could not. I was sure I simply was not bright enough to be a writer. You see, as much as I enjoyed writing and story telling, every time I mentioned wanting to be a writer, my family would mention that I needed to have a "real job" or at the very least a back up plan. The trouble with back up plans is they often push the real desire, dream and perhaps even God inspired gift into the background until it becomes merely a blur.
I put the dream on a shelf.
I would take the dream off the shelf every now and then. I'd brush it off. Sigh and fantasize for the only moments I would allow, and then slip it back to where it belonged. Far away from my reality.
Last year, I began to really think about dreaming again. I was asked that question that so many of us are often asked, "If money were no object, what would you do right now." I heard a little voice in my head whisper one word...
Just as quickly. I dismissed the idea. But not completely. This year I will write. I will focus and I will do my best to reignite that craft and that joy of my heart.
To start I will simply just write. I will set my time, set my space, and set my focus back on that part of my life that I love. For me. For God.
I don't expect any of this to be easy, but I just did the hard part. I admitted it. Next is to put it all into action and begin.
Goal number one in writing is:
Write daily for an hour for the next 30 days.
Stay connected to the COMPEL website (I joined in November and have really loved it so far, but life kind of got in the way. I am recommitting).
I would also one day like to go to the She Speaks conference with Proverbs 31 Ministries. Financially this is way out there in goals, but I am saving my pennies and I have decided if it doesn't happen this year, it will happen next year. I am patient, and I have a BIG GOD.
Do you have a desire in your heart that you put on the back burner? Are you dusting off any old beloved activities? I'd love to hear about them.
