170.2 Yep One Hundred Seventy Point Two --- OUCH (and that isn't just my waist talking about my tight pants)

Time to make a change. 

A number.  A horrifying number.  170.2

I looked at the scale and thought I was going to cry. 

Let me tell you about it.

About 2 1/2 years ago, I agonized over my weight.  Since my thyroid went bust on me, I was on a sliding scale going up up up.  It was not a pretty site.  When I got married I was in Juniors size 3 and small shirts.  At my most disgusted 2 1/2 years ago, my jeans were up to size 14.  Slacks and khakis were even worse!  In my desperation, I went on the HCG diet. 

First, I had read about it in a magazine.   The women went to a clinic of sorts and would get a shot and follow a very restrictive diet.  Second, my friend Diane came into the studio and had shown a serious weight loss.   She told me how she was on the HCG diet and that it was her second round and that it was amazing.  She then told me that she gave herself the shots.  I thought that was just crazy, but her weight loss was amazing.  I decided to see a doctor about it and go for it. 

I stepped on the scale my first day and wanted to cry.  I weighed 170 lbs.  I muddled through and followed the diet like my life depended on it.  After 30 days.  I had lost 28 lbs.  I then lost 6 more pounds.  I was elated.  I looked great.  I felt great. 

Then slowly, it all came back.

I felt like I was on a see saw.   First I went from 136 to 140...then I was 148.  Then I dropped down to 145 only to leap up to 151.  This last year was the worst.  I would see saw up and down up and down, and all I could think was "Please don't go back to 170! Please do not go there!"

And then...this week...POW

170.2

*GULP*

To be honest.  I am not surprised.  My jeans and pants hurt.  I am cranky.  I am winded easily.  And the scale sadly doesn't lie...well it can lie a bit with manipulation and a little funny balancing act, but even then the pants don't lie.  You know you have to make a change when you'd rather wear yoga pants and you aren't into yoga.

So now what?

I'll tell you what.  I cracked open a book.  This book

Yes, I opened up "Never Say Diet" by Chantel Hobbs.  I wanted to breeze through it and get the answers in one sitting.  I was ready to just read non stop and get moving, but I didn't.  Why?  Because that is what I do.  I race through things and get results, but they don't last.  This time I am doing it all differently.  This time I am taking my time.  I don't mean that I am going to mosey through this to the point where I lose interest.  I have simply made a choice to do what it takes and not rush myself to results. 

That is the difference in me.  Before I wanted results now.  If I didn't have results in a reasonable amount of time, I would give up.  Even if I had results from a good diet, I couldn't hold onto it, because I simply could not stand eating the way I was. 

Now I am believing that this isn't a sprint it is a marathon.  I thought I would share a little bit of what I am up to in order to be accountable. 

1 - Giving it to God. I learned that I really, really cannot do this alone.  I need the Lord's help, because I am so very weak.
2 - Read "Never Say Diet" by Chantel Hobbs (taking notes if necessary)
3 - Go to the gym five days a week.  Now, Chantel started going six days a week when she made her own decision on changing the way she thought and more.  I would like to commit to six, but I do not dare.  She suggested making it like a job.  As I work five days a week, I am going to put in five.  I can vow to do that. 
4 - Not worry about what I eat for a month.  This does not mean I will be eating all the garbage I can get in me.  I am simply not going to work on changing my eating habits right now.  I have only read up to chapter 5 so far, but one thing that stuck out to me was not taking on too much at once.   First I am going to get that gym habit in and get this "Never Say Diet" digested (so to speak).  Then I will start to work on my intake.  I will be making a point of drinking more water though.
5 - I will also hold onto a new Bible verse a week.  This week's is:

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3
 

After the above, I'll work on this book "The Never Say Diet Personal Fitness Trainer" also by Chantel Hobbs.  

For now, I will not be posting more about this until Saturdays when I will check my weight. That is another thing I have learned. I don't know if Chantel mentions it in her book yet, but I have realized that I can be highly influenced by how the numbers look on my scale.  

Okay...off to read.